Stay at home mom

I am a stay at home mom. I realize some people would label me as lucky, spoiled, and privileged. As my story unravels, I come to realize that I can't be that person who many dream of being.
You see my husband works on the pipeline so there are times we go for weeks without seeing each other and sometimes/most of the time months. After my first born it was ok- not really. I was left at home with a baby and honestly I was scared to death and didn't know how to raise a baby. He was suppose to be my partner and be by my side and help, you know like watch the baby so I can shower, so I can grab a bite to eat, or better yet go to Wal-Mart to get us some food. Yet instead it was me and my baby.
A couple of years pass by and surprise baby number 2. I am very very blessed to have my two boys, they are beautiful lil gems. Wouldn't change or trade them for anything in this world.
So now I stand in my living room, toys through out the house, sink filled up with bottles, laundry overflowing all the hampers, I feel as tho I need toothpicks to hold my eyes open, because I am so behind yet no fuel to go. At this point I really didn't have time to think if I was lonely. Yet months to come, the fog begins to drop.