As I sit at the table I think back to the days I didnt know happiness. I was running from fear, anxiety, depression, and slowly killing myself. I ran rapid chasing a high and feeling incomplete.
Rewind several years later and I was entering into rehab. I lost my children and on the verge of losing my husband. I was so bitter and full rage. I was tired. Tired of living, to tell you the truth.
I get kicked out of rehab and I was scared of society. I was scared of everyone, everything, and myself. I knew I was capable of failing at life once again. Everyone watched me and wasnt sure how to approach me. I felt like I didnt know how to live anymore. That is where I struggled the most. Not knowing how to survive outside of a bubble that others call treatment.
I go back to college with a drive to help other women like me. College wasn't easy, but I strived to excel in every class. I thought outside the box in every class including art, literature, psychology.... any free range I directed my essays and art back to addiction and recovery. My mentors believed in my dream (sober living) when I thought it was impossible to reach.
One year later, we open HER Recovery a sober living facility to help women transition into society with the tools of living life in recovery. Starting with 6 women that quickly moved up to 8 women. Hearing the crys out for help but not having the room to help others was something new for me. It was difficult.
So here we are today, sitting here and rewinding through the past four years of my life wondering how it happened so fast. Wondering what it was that a group of people saw in me that I had not seen in myself. Thinking of how the funds fell into the lap of an ex meth addict still seems bizarre. One higher power and that is my God.
We signed the papers on our second house today. We will house 18 more women. We will have the availability to help others who are struggling, who need a hand to hold, who need encouragement, who need to be in a safe environment with others that let them know they arent alone.
Im not a special addict in recovery, I am God's daughter who is just following my purpose and calling. It doesnt make me better than the newcomer. It allows me to help a sister. Help them into society and not feel like an outcast. Love them through it. Hold their hand and walk beside them. Allowing them to lean on me while we work through struggles. I have the chance to witness them turn their life around and be who they are meant to be.
I thank God, my family, my crew, and my sisters.
Today is my today. Today is another chance.
The ex meth addict