Thursday, October 22, 2015

When you just "don't get it"

Here lately I have been helping not only addicts find help, but those family members who 'just don't get it'. So this blog is dedicated to those we truly do love, those we lied to, and to those we hurt, but just don't understand us. It's usually difficult for us to see the damage of the drug, because inside we are a complete wreck ourselves. It was only last month, I was able to admit that I was suicidal when I was using drugs and I have been in recovery for a year- I'm not saying that to brag, I am saying this to show that it takes a very long time to not only to admit to our struggles but to grow. We use drugs to try to escape our pain, to help us deal with life, and to try to fill a void. We begin to drown in our shame, then it becomes the only way we know how to function... and yes it happens just that fast. When we try to explain to others about our drug use, we usually end it with "you just don't get it." In reality, it's just hard to explain the sadness, shame, and resentment of our choices. It's hard to admit to ourselves, better yet others that we have lost all control. We have become our worst nightmare. We have children and still not able to get a grip of ourselves. There are times we want help and still can't quit. Does this mean you should give up on us? Does this mean we should tell those who have relapsed there is no hope? No. And NO. We are sick individuals, who are broken. But we still need support, we still have dreams, and we are still human beings who need to hear, "Good job!"
I think sooo highly of those who are active in their addiction and ask for help. I was never able to be that person. I was in rehab for several days, with many counselors, several Dr. visits before I could even admit that I had a problem. So to those who recognize/realize they have a problem I applaud. To those who find the courage to even ask for someone's help is more courageous than I can explain. So to those who 'just don't get it', it is ok that you don't understand us, but it is very very important to praise the smallest steps towards recovery... because those "good jobs, im proud of you, keep it up". Those little words of encouragment helps us to not give up. So what might seem only common sense to you, is one hurdle a sick friend, sister, mother, brother, father, or niece just conquered. Recovery is hard and it deserves a pat on the back. Recovery is IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT SUPPORT.
Love,
Mary Beth