You see I'm not the person who asks for help, because people have their own lives to live and their own problems to deal with. I felt as though I had to manage on my own because that's what moms are suppose to do. When I would vent to some people they would grin and sometimes even giggle and say I know I had three or that's what happens when you have kids- so in my head I'm Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I want to scream out of anger, "no, no, NO!!! You don't know every cry out I have to tend to, every single need I have to make, ALONE!!! BY MYSELF!! NO PARTNER! No tag, your turn, no helping hand, no when your father got home- ME ALONE!
You know I never received a warning, a manual, or notice on how many needs a child has. Many joke of that but at the time I was serious. For all you single mothers and single fathers my hands applaud you ladies and gents, "God bless you". I mean yeah I am married, but at my lowest I felt like I married to be alone. I knew my husband was doing his part and working to pay our bills. It's just when you are stuck in a rut and sick without even knowing it, it's kind of mind blowing on the thoughts that the devil/disease can put through your head and just how flipping hard you are on yourself.