Do you ever have them days when you ask God, "Are you there, God?" And sometimes it's so hard to hear him amongst the kids screaming, TV blaring, dishwasher washing, washing machine spinning, vacuum going, and the roaring of life itself. You wonder is he in the details.
The saying if it's not one thing going wrong it's everything. That seemed liked my life at once. I can remembers my youngest sleeping like champ, but then my three year old would be up all hours of the night. Then vice versa. I felt as though they had planned it. It was so hard. There I was little to no sleep, dishes piled throughout the house, laundry overflowing all the hampers, and there is always a diaper that needs changed. It never failed there was always some mom out there who had it all figured out, too, leaving you feeling like you are more of a failure. I used to paint and upcycle, but those days were exchanged with full time laundry duty, and because of this I felt guilty for my feelings of resentment.
I can remember wondering if anybody else felt like this or would understand. There were many nights I would secretly cry in the laundry room, then there standing there realizing the daunting thought of this endless laundry task would just overwhelm me even more. Needing that encouraging call from a friend was heavily needed, but during those times were when the phone would never ring. Or if you are anything like me and my kids, I easily misplaced my phone sometimes with a little bit of there help from them hiding it from me.
I will be the first to admit that I have failed at being a friend. I felt as though friendships were just another thing to manage on my already full plate- sometimes overflowing. So I chose to forfeit this extra type of relationship, so that I could better focus on my chore list. It wasn't until I was in rehab that I realized this time management method back-fired on me, and realized I put myself in isolation mode.
So if you ever feel overwhelmed, burnt-out, and lonely. Let me assure you there is hope. I know because, I have been that mom. Take time out for yourself, I know it's a headache getting kids ready, packed, then peel them off of you when you drop them off. By the time you get back home you just want to clean or sleep, but I assure you- you deserve a break, go out- your chores will be there when you get back. Not only do you need to get out but get away from your house or it begins to be a prison for you.
I know as a mom life gets hard and our job is never done. If you are a stay at home mom get a support system. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help. I never did, I thought I was the mom it's my job. Parenting is a two person job, but I know their are many of us out there who don't have that other half, or don't have family close by. Trust me I know how hard this job is. But we need to remember our kids are our blessings, pray, pray, and pray, and ask for help it doesn't make you any weaker or any less of a mother. Getting my break has made me so much better of a mother. God bless you moms, I lift everyone of you up in my prayers every night.