Sunday, February 15, 2015

A Hail Storm

When I look at my past, I see how bad I was. Looking at my future was something I was incapable of doing. Probably, because I was too scared of what it might hold, or maybe because I was so selfish and wrapped up in my own depression. When it rains, it hails.
Addicts are just that, a hail storm; we damage everything around us including ourselves. We beat ourselves up with our choices that we shamefully made. Being sober today- I can see my future, I can smile and it be a true happiness, I can wake up in the morning and go throughout the day just like all the other normal people, and not depend on if I have this pill to take or this drug to smoke. My present and future are bright and through those dark times I have faith in God to shine his light on my path.
What do addicts need? I honestly will say the number one thing is to have a support group. This doesn't have to be family. I find my strength and support in other recovering addicts. Some of these friends don't realize an impact they have on me, and I thank God for him placing them in my life. Many friends and families think it's dangerous to be around other addicts, and they are right, but huge difference in addicts and recovering addicts. Recovering addicts is our go to person when we doubt ourselves or have questions/concerns about struggles after sobriety. It's important that we can go to someone and not be judged or belittled for our thoughts. If you're not an addict, you don't know anything about our battles. We need that understanding and unfortunately most of our families can't understand us, but this is ok. It's ok that sometimes we don't understand everything that happens in our life. It's ok that most don't understand us, because remember no one has walked in your shoes and through your journey. Show addicts love, even though we have made mistakes we are still humans. Everybody wants and needs love. Don't drown us in questions. If you would slow down we would have time to answer your questions. Remember when you cut a family member off because of addiction, we begin to think you give up on your loved ones when we needed you the most, when we were hurting, and you don't care. To me that's selfish. I'm not talking about money or material things. Im talking about the small things like conversations, hugs, our an I love you.
I have never understood sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but at least that can heal. Words can hurt a soul, and the minds never forgets.